Me: Hello jolly Amersham station ticket-assistance man! Can you tell me how to get to St. Mary's church in Old Town? I was baptised there and want to see it!
Ticket Assistance Man: Golly gee whiz, of course! Go down to the Tesco and take a right, and keep walking.
Me, after turning right past the Tesco and walking for 15 minutes: Hello third shop owner I've asked for directions but haven't been able to tell me anything... where is St. Mary's?
Shop owner: You're walking there? Well, go down towards the station and turn left, and it's at the bottom of the hill. There's a trail that goes through the forest or you can just follow the road.
And so, I walk BACK, in the RIGHT direction this time, for 20 minutes, and come to the forest trail. Where the shoulder of the road conveniently ends. So, either I magically turn into a car and continue on my merry way, or tromp through the British forest.
So, let me paint a picture for you. Me. In skinny jeans, cutesy little gladiator sandals, a chic belted cardigan, and a giant Audry Hepburn purse. Stomping through the British forest, stepping over British mud holes, muttering British curses.
All this was in order to get to Amersham, the town I lived and was baptised in. Somehow, didn't think it would be this difficult. But I eventually found it.
THEN. I got to the church door to this lovely sign:
In case you can't read it, it says CHURCH CLOSED FOR PREPARATIONS FOR THE AMERSHAM FLOWER FESTIVAL. Are you kidding me????
So I snuck around back to where I saw an open door, and begged the little old ladies arranging flowers to let me in for a peak. Whew.
After finding my parent's old cottage, I did a quick lunch at a pub and walked back to the forest path for the trek back to the station.
Mission Accomplished. But man, what a day.
I am impressed!
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